Know Your Space

We hear a lot about finding our “place” in the world. The way I like to think, is that we are actually taking our space within the world.

What I mean is, the sentiment of finding one’s place assumes we are on the outside from the beginning and that we must do something to fit in. Whereas if we assert our own space, we already take up space literally with our physical mass from the moment we’re born. And we can also make our space energetically with the volume of creativity we put out.

(By creativity, I do not mean traditional forms of being creative such as music, art, craft etc. We are ALL creative beings, just in different ways. I spoke more about this here.)

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Take your space!

The word place also has several negative connotations. We use it to denote the outcome of competitions…1st place, last place etc. So it could be seen that life as a whole is a competition when it absolutely is not! We are not here to compete with each other, but to build one another up.

“Place” also has bad historical associations for women and the working class, “A woman’s place” “know your place” “Your place is in the kitchen” so it can become entwined with identity and a form of prison, not an expansion. The word “space” is completely the opposite! Space suggests infinity and limitless possibilities. It suggests an abundance of room in which we can all fit. Not a restricted area where there may not be provisions for us all to exist.

My own personal relationship with the word place is born from that competitive aspect. I always needed to be first place, top, the best. Of course I very often wasn’t and that was hard to deal with because I’d taken on so much pressure.  These feelings exist in our society to keep people looking sideways, suspicious of others. It’s good to strive to grow and improve, but we can do this together through supporting one another and being happy for others’ achievements. There is enough space for everyone!

 

So go forth beautiful souls and find your SPACE in the world!

 

Best Wishes,

Bexi

xx

 

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Ageing Shamelessly: Part Two!

Thank you for the lovely messages after I posted Ageing Shamelessly. It’s great to know so many of you feel similarly, that we are not resigned to growing older the way society tells us we must!

I wanted to share a lesson I’ve learnt this week and it’s a bit of an abstract one so bear with me…

We recently adopted a cat, called Shaylou but we call her Lou Lou. She’s a very special girl. We adopted her when was abandoned by her owners to live outside after they moved. The reason little Lou is extra special is because she is 20 years old! In cat years this makes her 96 which is amazing!

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Our little old girl, Lou Lou! 

Since she’s been living with us, I’ve learnt so many things about ageing which I just instinctively know can translate to humans. We’ve been conditioned to accept so many things in our later years that just do not need to happen.

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Guarding my fancy chocs!

So I’ll details the things our little 96 year old girl does on a daily basis…

  • Eats heartily
  • Exercises: stretches, runs around (cardio) and bone strengthening jumps!
  • Plays with the joy of a kitten
  • Naps when she needs to
  • Cuddles
  • Speaks up when she has something to say! (Food please!)
  • Socialises with her friends
  • Keep herself groomed and neat
  • Has maintained a healthy constant weight

I have no doubt that this list could apply to 96 year old humans if we believed it more possible. The key difference is that no one has ever told Lou Lou to “act her age” or “she’s just too old to be doing that”. She is doing everything that feels natural to her and on the timescale that she chooses. Humans on the other hand (or paw?!), are so tied up with our belief systems that we follow what we think we should be. Old age to us, is not seen as increased energy and vitality but a loss, and often a huge loss at that.

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Let’s be amazing at 100 like Beatrice here!

Having no societal rules on ageing thrown at her, means that Lou has continued the natural behaviours that served her well as a young cat- stretching regularly, resting when tired and lots of activity in between. We can learn so much from this! Keep the joyful behaviour from childhood. Continue to play, laugh, sing, dance, eat well and rest when needed. Listen to your own fluctuations of energy flow, don’t try and fit in a box of an existence thought out by someone else!

I’m not saying she still has the full spark of a kitten. We have two other cats aged 7 and 6 and they are faster and a little brighter than Lou, but only marginally when you consider in human years they are only in their 40s!

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Our other two rescue girlies, Hazel and Saffrom! 

Again, I will say that we need to rethink our ideas about ageing. Looking to nature is a great way of seeing how we CAN age well, keep the activities we love and have a beautiful old age experience!

Best Wishes,

Bexi

xx

Playing Around!

As adults, we are often made to feel that “playing” is not something we should be doing. It is only reserved for young children. Even teenagers are encouraged not to be playful and to become serious. Ever told to “stop messing around” when you weren’t being harmful, just laughing?

This also extends to our imaginations and the play worlds we create in our minds. When I was a teenager I was discouraged from reading fantasy novels by a teacher I respected and so started studying “the classics”. This served me well in ways but I should have been shown (or realised myself) that I could read both! We don’t have to leave joy behind when we become adults. The two ideas can exist in the same universe!

We are also made to confuse being playful with being sexual as we become adults, particularly as women. If someone is described as playful, it often means flirtatious. This shouldn’t be the case. Anyone of any age should be encouraged to bring more traditional play into their lives, just as we would have as children.

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The energy of children is so… well energising!!

Ways to bring more playfulness into your life;

1.Play like a child, literally! At what point do children’s pastimes become a no-go? When you start secondary school? When we leave school? I think it’s the moment we become more self conscious and that can happen at any age, even during childhood. Or rather, we are made to be self conscious by the world around us. Well I say no thank you to this, carry on playing like a child! Play on the park (don’t scare any actual children though!), skip around, use colouring in books, anything that seems fun- do it!

2.Leading on, play with children. Spending time with little folk is so energising, even if  at the time they tire you out with their games. I have a young brother and sister and am so grateful to have them to remind me the playful fun that can be had in childhood and beyond.

3. Use your imagination. This is the biggest difference between having a sense of play and not. If we are able to use our imaginations, we can build a more colourful world for ourselves. We can turn a simple trip to the supermarket into a grand adventure. Or a walk in the woods into an expedition. This helps us see the wonder in the ordinary. It might take practice. We have our imaginations pushed aside as we grow  to make room for facts and figures but with repeated exercises such as pretending a simple boat trip is an exploration of a new world (which it can be, even if you have seen the place a thousand times, find the unknown) our ability to imagine will strengthen and a whole new life might just unfold. Remember, if we don’t have imagination, we also can’t picture a better way for our lives to be. So if you’re in a situation you don’t like, the best way to begin to leave it behind is by creating that new life in your mind first, just as children do with make believe lands!

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Never stop playing, it’s the base for how we can create the life we truly wish for ourselves!

Are you already playful? Feel free to share your tips below and we can start a playful revolution!

Best Wishes,

Bexi

xx

A New Way to do the New Year!

I will wish you all a Happy New Year now! I also want to share some thoughts on an alternative way of living the New Year. Let’s have a kinder New Year. No more broken resolutions, no more guilt, no more feelings of failure. We don’t have to treat ourselves like that, we are worth so much more!

This post is a revisit of one I made last year as I feel it’s a message that still needs discussion and I want you all to have a beautiful start to the year. I want people to know  that they can break the resolution tradition. I broke out of it only a few years ago as I hadn’t realised how it was affecting me and certainly wasn’t setting me up for creative and happy year ahead.

The way we treat ourselves this time of year is often very unkind. We push ourselves to the limit in December- a time that is full of magic and joy and yet it often passes us by in the hectic haze. We berate ourselves for not buying all we can for our loved ones when our time together is more than enough.

And then comes the New Year. We see it as a time for renewal and hope and indeed it can be a wonderful time for rest and rebirth. This is not how we act it out. Rather, it becomes a punishment for over indulgence or a desperate attempt to balance out the excess of Christmas.

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Let’s be kinder to ourselves this winter

Here is some of what I wrote last year which I hope will help…

If we look to nature, we see that this time of year is generally not the time of new beginnings. In January, Squirrels are still squirrelling their food away and focusing on warmth, hedgehogs are hibernating and other animals are slowing down. Most flowers are still in waiting for their bloom to come in a few months time and the trees have yet to re-grow their leaves. All of this points to a time of nurturing ourselves restfully, yet we are told to speed up, this seems a little confusing doesn’t it?!

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Be like a squirrel!

Here are my 5 tips to renew yourself more gently…

  1. Certainly start eating more healthily and naturally if you feel you don’t already, but unless you have a few stone to lose for medical reasons, don’t bow to pressure of New Year marketing saying you must lose 10 pounds in a few days, this is not healthy and not necessary! If you need to, you’ll lose weight and keep it off with a few smaller changes.
  2. Gym memberships up the advertising this time of year and whilst there are better deals to be had now than at other times, ask yourself if you really need the gym and that power pumping exercise style? As we saw earlier, nature likes to slow down this time of year and be more restful…perhaps pilates, yoga or dance would more helpful as well as winter walks outside on frosty sunny days?
  3. I applaud all who want to learn new skills and better themselves, but we don’t have to master two languages, go on a cookery course, write a novel, learn flower arranging and knit a jumper all this month though! Choose the new activity that truly calls out to you. It may be the thing you thought you’d end up working as when you were a child…dance or gardening for example and then focus on that with all your heart instead of rushing between several things half-heartedly.
  4. Know that it’s ok to be quiet and restful. Christmas is viewed as a very social time which can be overwhelming for introverted or sensitive souls. Take this time of the year to reflect and restore the balance. Learn to like being in your own company, treat yourself well- make yourself your favourite dinner, make time to read a book you’ve wanted to for a while, and have lots of early nights.
  5. Remember that change can happen all the time. That’s the magic that we have within us, we have the power to make changes all the year round, not just in the mythologised January 1st or on a Monday! Saturdays at 3pm can work very well for making changes too if you have the right mindset!

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Finally, keep in mind that the New Year is only our New Year because some people in Rome decided it should be a long time ago. Ask if that feels right to your body and soul? Or whether you would prefer to tune in to another time of year that is truly about renewal and revitalising? I know I’ll be resting for a while longer before emerging restored and rebalanced ready for a beautifully active Spring and Summer!

To me, January is still a time for being more restful and nourishing and that’s how I intend to start my year. Being loving and kind to myself, not in guilt or punishment as I have in the past but finding balance and a different kind of motivation to start a new year of possibilities

Lots of love for the year ahead!

Best Wishes,

Bexi

xx

Winter Well-being!

Winter can be a challenging time to keep our well-being up and our health balanced, here are the best ways I find to stay healthy and happy during the darker months of the year! 

  1. Stay hydrated. Even though it’s not as warm as Summer, we still need to keep our water levels up. I aim for 2-3 litres a day, but mainly drink this in herbal teas which have the added benefit of keeping you cosy too. You can find water in lots of great foods too, so plenty of soups and warming gravy dishes are great if you’re struggling to drink as much as you need.
  2. Get outside! Obviously we have less sunshine hours and overall daylight in winter so it’s even more important to make time to spend time outdoors to top up our vitamin D levels and boost our happiness. Make it a double well-being boost by taking a walk in the woods or on the beach- any time immersed in nature will make you feel better. 
  3. Following on from that, a walk is good exercise too and it’s vital to keep up exercising in Winter too. It’s definitely more difficult as we often want to stay wrapped up indoors rather than heading to a gym class or a run in the rain, but if we want to stay fit all year round we should aim for at least 30 minutes a day!  
  4. Keeping in touch with people. It’s easy in Winter to fall into a cycle of staying in and not seeing anyone. Darker evenings make us feel it’s later than it is and the cold can discourage us from venturing out. Turn your mind against this thought pattern though and aim to stay connected with others and to keep attending any events, groups, meet ups that you would in summer.
  5. Saying that though, any extra time spent indoors is a great opportunity for re-organising your living space. Having a good clear out will translate to a good shake up mentally as when our surroundings become cluttered this can be a reflection of mind clutter. So getting rid of what we no longer need can be so helpful for our mental health. It seems like a chore at first but once you get going it feels great and you can donate lots of things to charity shops too!

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Hope these tips help keep you feeling good over the winter months! Come back soon for updates on my Mind on Music Travels!

Best Wishes,

Bexi

Get Turned Off: How I learnt to switch off the TV!

One of the great things about the Mind on Music travelling is that it has left me with a lot less time for idly watching random TV. My mind is much clearer and happier for it!

As a nation, we watch too much television. There’s no arguing with the statistics that tell us the average person watches five to eight hours per day in front of the TV. That’s almost a third of our lives! Before the 1930s though, television wasn’t even available to the public and during the Second World War, broadcasts were suspended. Afterwards, the schedule only contained three hours of broadcasting per day and obviously no catch up TV! Even during the 1950s when television started to become more widely used by the general public, it was upheld as special occasion. We can look to these past ways of living in order to enhance our present!

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Break the TV Cycle!!

Here are some simple ways from the past to break the TV cycle;

  1. Visit friends and family! This has the added bonus of helping others watch less TV too. The evenings are still light and even in Winter instead of spending your Sunday on the sofa, go for a walk with the family in Nature.  Decades ago, visiting others was a more regular occurrence as there was no Facebook to keep in touch with people!
  2. Cook. If you cook a meal with several ingredients, by the time you’ve made and eaten it, a few hours may have passed. The key is to enjoy the process of cooking for itself, not to rush through it and then hurry through the meal.This has the added bonus that you’ll know exactly what’s in your food, just as our grandparents did.
  3. Craft. Learn a new craft skill or re-engage with an old pastime you used to enjoy such as crochet, or playing an instrument. Hours used to be spent darning and mending old clothes but this is something we don’t have to do as much now. However this is a useful skill which has largely been lost and helped keep waste down so re-learning it will save you some pennies!
  4. Read.  There are also whole realms of imagination and information ready for you to dive into. You don’t need to read classics, pick up whatever you’re drawn to and get lost in another world.
  5. Rest Finally, know that it’s ok to sit in silence with your own thoughts! We feel we must be constantly entertained but this isn’t true. Some of our best ideas come to us when we’re resting quietly. Keep a notebook handy for these times so you can quickly jot ideas down. Years ago, people often daydreamed for hours, just wistfully sitting at a river bank, but in our ‘notification generation’ we feel a constant need to check our emails, social media, what’s on TV later…always doing instead of just being! Stop and remind yourself of this once in a while.

 

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Get Outside!!

Sometimes we get stuck in cycles, especially in the darkest months of the year but Summer hasn’t left us yet so we can get outside and switch the TV off, just as we used to do in years gone by!

 

Best Wishes,

Bexi

How To Be The Most Energetic You Can Be!

A few people have asked me where I get so much energy from to be travelling, singing, speaking at events so much and all with no coffee haha! So I thought I’d share the ways I gather my energy so it might help you. We are all different but by sharing our practices, we can take what we find helpful and leave the rest, so please have a read and let me know if you have any ways you increase your energy!

I understand for those with chronic illness, it’s not as simple as some of the below tips sound, but they’re still worth a go because even if you think they won’t work, you’ve made a positive step towards loving and caring for yourself!

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  • Food! If you’re on my Instagram, then you’ll know I follow a vegan diet. The reason I started was for ethical reasons concerning animals and environment, but the health benefits have been incredible! My skin cleared up, my head feels lighter too and I no longer need coffee to keep me going throughout the day. I eat a lot of fruit and veg and I love smoothies. Find me on instagram to see some of my food postings. I’m not here to judge, I was twenty years old before I went vegetarian and then another several years before veganism so only speak from my experience that switching to a plant based diet has worked wonders for my energy and health. It’s really important to ensure with any way you eat that your nutrient levels are all in tune with your own body. Tiredness can be caused by deficiencies in B12, calcium, Vit D and magnesium amongst other things so it’s a good idea to get these in order if you’re feeling low on energy.
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Smoothies replaced my super strong coffee and I love them!!

  • Nurture yourself with Nature. Being in nature, for me, is one of my top energisers. A walk in the forest or on the beach can pick me up when I’m needing a boost and whatever energy I spend whilst walking is returned with more to spare.  It’s proven that the ions produced by water having a restorative effect on our health so anywhere near flowing water such as waterfalls or the beach is great to be, but of course anywhere outside and in a natural setting is going to do you good! Sunshine will boost your Vit D levels too which can help with tiredness, but of course wear sun protection where appropriate especially if you’re like me- a super pale red-head who needs factor 50!!
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Beautiful beach times from a recent trip to Ibiza.

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Swimming in the sea feels so natural and always boosts my energy!

  • Sort your sleep! We all know sleep is important for our bodies to restore and for our minds to wander into our dreamlands, but so many of us worry about it to the point that this worry stops us sleeping! For a time, I was waking about 4am every night, full of energy and excited for the day ahead. I would struggle to return to sleep and work my self up when I couldn’t. I decided to change my sleep pattern to stop myself worrying. I now sleep 5-7 hours during the night and have an extended nap in the afternoon. I later found this is called Bi-phasic sleep, and has been found to be a very healthful way to split our sleeping times as our 9-5 society way of living is not entirely natural to our bodies and minds. It is a challenge to achieve sometimes if I have to do a lot of daytime activities but it has improved my energy and sleeping as I no longer worry about being tired because I know I have a second sleep to follow!

 

  • Resting. This is different to sleep. People think they only need to rest when they are in bed but this isn’t so. Being still and quiet is vital to our health and to keep us connected with our body so we are aware of everything that’s going on and know to make adjustments if necessary. Paradoxically, you can rest whilst being active. For me, Yoga is a very restoring practise and even though I work hard and the postures are often physically demanding, I find it a very restful, peaceful thing to do too.

 

  • Avoid energy drainers! These come in a variety of forms, from too much time on the internet, to being around people who are always negative. Comparing yourself to others on social media is one of the biggest wastes of energy there is. It leaves you feeling lethargic and low. Limit your internet use to basic email checking for a while and see how you feel. When I do this my head is less foggy, my spirit brighter and I feel so much happier. Don’t worry about what others are doing. They are on their path and you are following yours.

 

  • Be creative. Singing, writing, getting my ideas out, all feed my soul and so increase my energy levels.  Using our natural talents (and we all have different innate ones) makes us feel purposeful and happy which feeds our spirit to increase our energy. I adore singing so much that I often turn up to a gig feeling tired and leave with an enormous buzz and feeling elated! Even singing on my own at home can do this, so try whatever creative pursuit you want to do and see if it does the same for you. Being creative with your environment can help too. Colours can energise or drain you, so my living areas are all bright, beautiful tangerines and decorated with all sorts of my favourite shades!
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Singing always gives me more energy!

 

  • Self healing. As well as creating more energy within ourselves, I fully believe we have the power to heal ourselves too and prevent our health from going too far down. This creates good health and so in turn more energy. Explore the alternative side to healing that medicine doesn’t offer… gentle therapies that can help if you open up to them. Music and Sound therapies, Acupuncture, Meditation- explore and find what you enjoy the most and go with it. Even if you find they don’t work for you, they are relaxing and enjoyable at the very least. Stress is a big energy drainer and the cause for so many health problems but it is something we have control over. Slowing breathing rate is the first step to overcoming it, breathing in for 5, pausing then out for 5 and repeat until you feel calmer.

 

I hope these little tips that I use have been helpful and healthful for you! Let me know how you get on, with a message or a comment, wishing you lots of energy!

 

Best Wishes,

Bexi